"These things hast thou done, and I kept silence; thou thoughtest that I was altogether such an one as thyself (like you): but I will reprove (rebuke) thee, and set them in order before thine eyes." Psalms 50:21
I remember asking for a lot of things as a kid, things I wanted and things I just had to have. I wanted the latest pair of Jordans for the playground, and then I wanted them for every new basketball season. I wanted to wear the latest brand names like some kids in the school, and I wanted to be the sharpest dresser. I wanted the best of everything and would ask for all of these things, but I mostly was denied my requests. I once even took a worn pair of boots to my dad where the sole was separating from the leather, and my dad attempted to be a cobbler and put a nail through the sole and the leather, bringing about a temporary solution. My mom could not believe my dad did, this but my dad saw no need to purchase a new pair of shoes when a cheap nail would do the trick.
I had a friend at school who seemed to always have the latest Jordans and brand name clothes, and I was envious of him. I knew my dad had a good paying job, and I could not understand why he could not just take me to the store and buy me all those things I wanted. I looked at things from the viewpoint of a child who had no concept of money but had an eye for the "shiny" things in life. I did not have an understanding of my parents’ logic, and I viewed everything from my own perspective and understanding. I would try hard to think of a case to present to my parents to get them to understand, but I was no Robert Shapiro and my arguments fell on deaf ears. No matter how creative I was, my case still fell short and it was thrown out every single time. I thought this way for some time until the roles were reversed, and I became an adult with responsibilities.
I was newly married with a mortgage, automobile, and all the bills that came with it. I thought I would be eating Jack in the Box two-for-$1 tacos for every meal, but God provided and we were able to have other options for dinner. I began to realize that life was not about the latest brand name shoes and clothes, and I realized it was more important to eat rather than wearing a cool pair of shoes. The older I got, the more bills I started to receive and the more my perception of my parents changed. I realized they were not withholding things from me, but they were being wise with their money. The were wiser than a little kid and my understanding was selfishly limited to my limited experiences and responsibilities. I did not have to worry about what I was going to eat or if there would be a roof over my head as my parents took care of all this, and I only selfishly thought of myself and my wants. I am now ashamed of my thinking, and I have come to realize that I was not even close to having a mind that could understand what my parents were doing and thinking.
We are often this way when it comes to the things that happen to us in this life. We try to understand what God is doing, and we sometimes even shake our fist at Him and demand answers. We attempt to understand what He is doing in our lives or the lives of others, and we fail to think how limited we are in our understanding. Isaiah 55:8-9 states, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." We get into trouble when we try to apply our ways to God's ways, and when we try to rack our brains to understand what He is doing. We have no business or right to question a holy God as we are but a feeble people with limited understanding and knowledge. I try to remember my foolish thoughts as a kid, which is a poor comparison when it comes to my thoughts compared to God's thoughts.
Do you try to understand God's sovereign will through your limited understanding? Do you try to compare His ways to your ways? Have you grown bitter toward Him because you fail to understand what He is doing in your life? God sees the whole picture, and we have a small, limited view of what He allows into our lives. May we rest in His sovereignty and may we put our full trust in a Holy God who does all things well.
Stay in the fight!