Where Art Thou?
"And the anger of the Lord was kindled against them; and he departed." Numbers 12:9
I have been in trouble many times in my life. These days, I try to avoid trouble at all costs, but I did not follow the same rule when I was younger. It seems as if there were times when I ran into the eye of the storm and I did not look back or fear the consequences that would inevitably come. My sister did not understand why I was so foolish, and she would even try to reason with me to fly straight. I rarely listened to her pleas and often did what I wanted to do anyway, and I always paid the consequences for my foolish actions.
When I was young, I used to get spankings, which I hated, but obviously not enough to change my actions. As I got older, I did not get spankings, but something that I thought was somewhat worse. I would get in trouble in school and I was old enough to have to tell my mom what I did. There were no cell phones or email in those days, so if the school could not reach my parents on the home phone, then they would send a note home. The note would tell the sordid details of my actions, but I would try to get ahead of it to plead my case. I hated their reaction more than anything.
I would tell my mom my foolish acts, and she would respond with a face that still haunts me today. It was filled with disgust, disappointment and anger. My mom would get angry with me and tell me all that was on her mind, and then she would cry because my actions had hurt her, which would make me wish I could dig myself into a hole. She would then end with telling me how disappointed she was in me, and I felt like such a big scum bag. She would then wipe her tears away and exit the room leaving me to my sorry self. The spankings I received as a young kid would burn for several hours, but my mom’s look of disappoint, disgust, and anger seemed to stay with me for weeks. The feeling of being left alone is something that I hated, and I wished that my mom would come and just hug me and say everything was okay, even though I knew my actions did not merit this response. My mom was my biggest supporter, and for me to betray her trust and disappoint her was something I hated to do.
I wanted to go into the next room and hug her, but I knew I needed to give her time. I was all alone in my room, and I was forced to deal with all that I had done. There are not many things worse than for your mom to leave you alone, but it is on a whole other level when the Lord departs from you. When He is so disgusted with your sin that He turns away from you and departs. When He leaves you to your own sinful ways, and when He leaves you to yourself. Sin always creates a barrier between you and the Savior, just as it did when Jesus took upon Himself the sins of the world and the Father had to turn His back on His only begotten Son. It is a terrible thing when the anger of the Lord is kindled against you, and when He departs from you. There is none who can stop His wrath, and it is wise to run to Him to make things right. My mom did not always stay angry with me nor would she leave me alone, but she would demand that I make things right with her.
Has the Lord departed from you? Have you angered Him with how you are living your life? Does you call out to Him for help before you have made things right about your sin? May we not delay in making things right with our God. If we seek Him, He can be found, but if we continue to deny Him, He will depart from us - not by removing our eternal salvation, but removing His hand of blessing. May we desire to stay close to our God, and may we abstain from sin that puts a barrier between us and our God.
Stay in the fight!