Whom Should I Choose?
“A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.” James 1:8
I remember my senior year of high school and some of the drama that ensued that year. An extremely unusual thing happened when two girls liked me at the same time. Typically, I was better known for my personality than I was for my looks. As such, I would often get placed in the "friend zone" with girls trying to get close to my better looking friend. I was a channel in which they used to gauge the interest my friend had in them, and I was always left hanging in the friend zone.
My ex-girlfriend (I'll call her Jane) had broken up with me for reasons other than the usual, and there was still some mutual interest there from both parties. There was another girl who liked me the previous year (I'll call her Susie), whom I did not pursue at the time because I had a girlfriend. Well, I was now a free agent of sorts and I honestly liked both of them. Jane was already won per se, but there was something still drawing me to Susie. I thought I could keep both parties interested and then see which one worked out. I told my ex-girlfriend, Jane, I was still interested in her, which was the truth, but I was not fully honest with her about liking Susie as well. Jane's parents did not allow her to date me, so I used that hurdle to my advantage.
Christmas time came, and Jane suspected I liked Susie and this suspicion was getting to be a burden. I tried to deny it, but it all came to a head the night of the Christmas program. I had purchased a card that read, "All I want for Christmas is Susie". Susie opened the card and started to read it and a smile came across her face. Susie's mom came out of nowhere, grabbed the card and became angry and told me I was using her daughter to get my ex-girlfriend back. She accused me of using her daughter as a pawn, and her face was as red as the Arizona sun. I tried to defend myself, but smoke was coming out of her ears. Just then, Jane came out, and I knew I was in big trouble. I foolishly and loudly blurted to Susie's mother, "I don't need your daughter to win Jane back because she would take me back this instant". And to corroborate my story, I turned to Jane and asked her, "Wouldn't you?" Jane stared at me and tears filled her eyes. She did not answer my question but walked away hurt and sad.
When I turned around, Susie was no longer smiling about my Christmas card, but rather threw it on the ground. She called me a jerk and her mom threw in her two cents as well. I normally would have defended myself with sharp words, but I felt like a big fat jerk. I tried to juggle two hearts, only to be left with none. I hurt the one who truly cared, and offended the other who didn't have a chance to care. I tried to play both sides, and I wavered in my decision. I learned that I was unstable in my decision making and it cost me big time. I regret my foolish actions, but I have done this in my Christian life as well. I have come to points when I have tried to play both sides, only to fail. I am learning that I cannot waver in my faith, and I know I must give Him all.
Where are you today friend? Do you waver when it comes to your faith in God? Are you trying to play both sides of the fence? Have you been burned by your lack of faith and wavering? Does He possess all of you or are attempting to hold back from Him? If we are unstable in some ways, then we are unstable in all our ways. May we not be double minded, and may our full faith be placed in Him. Will you be left with egg on your face, or will you fully commit to the One who is worth committing to?
Stay in the fight!